Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Seriously, WTF is with this dude's hair?


Words cannot even describe the awesomeness that was going on with Brian Engblom's hair tonight on Versus. I'm not even sure where to begin - the slicked back and gelled sides, the muffin-top bangs, or the ridiculous part down the middle? Just a cornicoupia of fuck. He looks like the first guy they tried the Flowbee on.

I'd say it was a rug, but I don't even think the Hairclub for Men would stick their seal of approval on this piece of shit.

I know, I'm a real shithead for making fun of a guys hair but hear me out:
  1. He's on national television, there's just no excuse for this.
  2. He and Eddie 'I couldn't win with Crosby and Malkin' Olczyk karma-fucked Kessel out of his point streak on the pre-game, 1st AND 2nd intermission report.
  3. Did you SEE his hair?! Look again. Go ahead, I'll wait.
Oh, and the Bruins won. Thomas had an amazing game with a killer save that we'll be sure to see a few hundred more times. You can count on a NESN promo featuring it in about 2 weeks. They work so fast over at the big blue ticket - always fresh.

I have to work tomorrow, which is as gay as the day is long. But that also means I'll be posting some stuff from the office, so I've got that going for me. Which is nice.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Game Night Haiku: St. Louis' Night of Discontent


Legace takes loss
Mason gets to take a few
right in the jaw

Game Night Haiku: Death to the Whale, 4-2



Nice to get a win
But Bergy prone on the ice
Kinda kills the mood

i jizzed in my pants


You call it premature, i just call it ecstasy. I actually call it premature too, that is, getting too excited over what has been a re-god-damn-diculous start to the season. Especially with the injuries mounting, but holy crap nonetheless.

Allow me to be brief. In the last five games, the Bruins have forced a non-injury (unless you count emotional) related goaltender switch four times (twice on one of those games). We're #1 in the league with 124 goals for and only Minnesota, they of the Jacques Lemaire trap, have allowed fewer than our 77 goals against. Our power play, despite the missing elements of last years leading goals scorer (Marco Sturm) and two of the top 4 D men, is converting on 26.7% of its chances...good for a tie of second with Detroit - they're good too, but wait, we beat them 4-1 last month.

Not enough for you? Our backup goalie is 11-2-1 with a GA of just 2.09 - and by the way, he's being referred to on Habs blogs as "our new rival". Our top young prospect has a point in 18, count 'em, EIGHTEEN straight games. In fact, the prospect we aren't talking about is also averaging over a point a game this year and had 3 assists last night - In the first period!
Four Bruins chime in at over a point per game clip (Savard, Kessel, Krejci and St. Pierre, who has 1 in 1) and 3 of those are in the top 16 in the league in scoring. A rookie is on pace for 30 goals and is scoring on over 22% of his shots (Wheeler).

Too early to talk about playoffs? Sure, its not even the halfway mark...but let's get excited, and i mean now. This keeps up, and we're gonna be making the OH face for a good long spring. It might look a little something like this...

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Game Night Haiku: B's Smoke Leafs, 8-5


Thirteen goals, good god
My Dad says you don't work hard
enough on defense

Burning Leaves

They smell nice, don't they? I'm hoping to catch a big whiff of some Leafs gettin' torched tonight by the red hot Bruins when the Caveman and I take in the game from some balcony seats. We've come a long way in a hurry from the early days of 2007 when craigslist could supply you with a gameday pair of seats for under 30 bucks a pop. Two measly balcony seats ran us 50 a piece today. Woah. Good sign that people are paying attention though.

As i prepare to don my Kessel jersey for the trek down to North Station, an interesting thought was placed in my head by a good friend who has finally stopped calling the team "Bonesaw's Bruins" and now refer's to them as his own.

A year ago, Kessel was the subject of trade rumors aplenty. It was no secret that the Bruins had some talent and it was no secret that they needed goal scoring. The team was being setup with defense and goaltending at its core, and the peter schaeffer's just weren't panning out for goal production. With Kessel a blue chipper who's potential was still unclear, but who's promise was universally agreed upon...trade was the obvious thought if immediate production was to be had. And you can't blame management for thinking about this long and hard. The last time we had a speedy young winger with an offense first style and a wheeling disposition, we also had Joe Thornton. The guy i'm referring to was supposed to be the Robin to Thornton's Batman (not Chris O'Donnell you moron). As my buddy aptly reminded me this morning, Phil Kessel has now become, well, Phil Kessel; because at this time last year, he was Sergei Samsonov; version 2.0

This prompted me to compare the early years of these two guys, both of whom were first round picks (Sammy went 8th overall in 1997, Kessel 5th in 2005). Remember, Kessel is now in his third full season, when you typically start to find out who a player really is.

Not suprisingly, Sammy's Year 1 and 2 stats were a tad better than Kessel. Given the games played and Kessel's rehabbing from Cancer and the ensuing surgery, this shouldn't suprise us, because Phil had to build up strength following the chemo. In addition, Phil started his career one year younger (18 vs. 19).

Here's a look at the first two years for each player (Samsonov, then Kessel).

GP G A PTS PTS/G
81 22 25470.58
792526510.65

GP G A PTS PTS/G
701118290.41
821918370.45

Over this time, Sammy started +3 collectively, and Kessel -18. We all know that one of the hot topics for NESN broadcasters this season has been the defensive competition between Phil and Savard. This has resulted in a +12 this year for Phil, so it's safe to say he's making strides there (Sammy, btw, went -6 in year 3). Now overall, these trends aren't suprising, or really meaningful. Both players stayed healthy, improved year over year, and were contributing early in their career's.

There's a statistic called Goals Created. Yes, we're entering hockey's version of sabermetrics. Here's how hockey reference.com defines Goals Created.

"Goals created; calculated by adding goals scored to (assists divided by (team assists divided by team goals)), then multiplying by 0.5. Here is an example. In 2006-07, Sidney Crosby had 36 goals and 84 assists. The Penguins as a team had 267 goals and 468 assists. Thus Crosby is credited with 0.5 * (36 + (84 / (468 / 267))) = 42.0 goals created. Note that the sum of player goals created is equal to the sum of player goals scored for all teams."

In years one through three, Sammy had GC of .23, .25 and .23 respectively. This is nothing special. Here's what is. Only three guys (Lemiuex, Gretzky and Bossy) ever had a career GC of higher than 0.51. The active leader among players who qualify is Joe Sakic, of the Avalanche, who chimes in with a 0.443. While his first two seasons were throw aways in this department, Phil Kessel's GC for 2008-09 is 0.43. He's averaging more than a point per game. THAT's telling.
Already having tied his career high in goals at the 30 game mark, Phil is becoming a totally different level of hockey player right before our eyes. Now he'd have to rally off about 15 years more hockey to really enter into the same air of discussion as the guys i just mentioned, but point be made, he's jumping up a level right NOW. This is no Sergei Samsonov we're seeing.

One other fun fact about Sergei. He may not have panned out the way we hoped here in Boston...but he indirectly contributed in a BIG way to the team we know and love today. On March 9th, 2006, the Bruins traded Sammy to Edmonton for two guys who suck and Edmonton's 2nd pick in the 2006 Entry Draft. That pick? It was used to take Milan Lucic. Thanks Sergei!

And hey...Keep voting for Timmy. Despite being left off the All-Star ballot this season (he made the fucking team last year!?!), Timmy has now racked up over 70,000 votes from write in according to NHL.com. Way to be Timmy. Way to be Bruins fans.

As always, a haiku - maybe even a drunk one - will follow tonight's game.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

GHN: Bs get their streak on, 4-2 over Thrashers


Friday, Saturday
It don't matter to Kessel
Gonna fuck you up