Reasons I Hate The New Jersey Devils

We all have teams that we hate.

Some are universal: Red Wings, Yankees, anyone who employs Mike Ribiero. Some are more obscure: Canucks (seriously, that old-school sweater looks like what this kid is about to crawl into), Panthers (ridiculously stupid stadium growling noise - NHL & NFL), Hurricanes (the in-excusable discontinuance of the Brass Bonanza).

I hate the New Jersey Devils for a varierty of reasons. Some pretty obvious, some less so. Allow me to elaborate ...

1.) Ruining offensive hockey and creating the lock-out (maybe). Ask anyone to name reasons that hockey was no fun to watch for a good portion of the pre-lockout years and they will will say "not enough scoring". Some of that can be attributed to the clutch/grab stuff but more of it can be attributed to the pervasive neutral-zone trap. Who brought that into the limelight? The Devils. It's easy to do, doesn't require skilled players, and chokes the shit out the offense.

2.) I drafted Patrik Elias in my fantasy league in the fall of 2005. Immediately after making the pick I was informed that he contracted Hepatitis A while playing in Russia, thus making him a perfect waste of space for the majority of the season, and making me the target of many a joke. Thanks, Patrik.

3.) The team is named after this thing. Yes, people think it's real - and maybe it is. But more likely they're just idiots. For comparison's sake, the Bruins are named after a bear. An actual animal, and according to trusted national news agencies, the animal we really need to be worried about.

4.) My good friend, and scribe of Mike Scioscia's Tragic Illness, used to beat me a little more often that I beat him in NHL 00 back when we were in college. His weapon of choice? The Devils. Nothing can make a man more irate than having his best players injured after the whistle by an out of control Scott Stevens. He contends that this is allowed for within the rules of such a contest - we disagree to this day.

Enjoy the game, everyone. I'll have my Elias voodoo doll on hand, so when he goes down in the 2nd holding his groin for no apparent reason you only have me to thank.

GO B's!

Bruins Add New Ticket Package - Boobs Now Free!

If it was any secret that girls at hockey games are cooler than girls at just about any other professional sporting event, Barstool Sports has busted the story wide open (relatively NSFW).

If you were puzzled by cheering from the hometown crowd during the Bruins stink-fest of a home opener, perhaps these two ladies were responsible. Come to think of it, this sort of activity actually makes sense, given that the food that comes with the 'Hungry for Hockey' tickets is on par with a strip club buffet.

Anyway, well done, ladies. I'll be in Section 304 on Thursday.

Phillips Arena Earns LEED Certification

Congratulations to the Atlanta Thrashers and their ownership on the earning LEED certification for Phillips Arena. From NHL.com ...

"If every one of our 5.1 million existing commercial buildings in the U.S. followed the lead of Philips Arena and worked to become more energy efficient, we could save some $160 billion by 2030 and put a significant dent in our carbon emissions," said USGBC President, CEO and Founding Chairman Rick Fedrizzi. "There are also tremendous water-saving practices that are built into LEED and I know how important that is in Atlanta. Schools, stores, hotels, office buildings, government buildings and sports arenas all have a contribution to make, and Philips Arena is to be congratulated for its achievement and the leadership it demonstrates for others."

For those of us in the real estate industry this is a big deal. I've been through the LEED certification process (LEEDS?! Yea, they got us working in shifts!) very recently and it's a huge time and money comitment. A well deserved glove tap to the Atlanta Thrashers and their ownership group.

What's this LEED business? Read more here.

NHL.com is lazy, unaware.

UPDATE - Well, it took them a whole business day but NHL.com has fixed the spelling gaff from earlier. Way to go guys!

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So I'm at work, poking around the intertubes and I go to NHL.com. Oh, they are promoting Sharks at Bruins, awesome. Should be a sweet game. The NHL is so excited to see Joe Thornton come back to Boston that they have an article practically begging you to watch it on Versus Tuesday Night.

"In fact, Tuesday's game on Versus will also feature former Bruin Joe Thorton's return to Boston for the first time since January 2006, just about a month after being traded to the Sharks. Thorton drew a misconduct for a high hit that night and left the game after just two minutes. So Tuesday qualifies as the Western Conference All-Star captain's first full game against his former team, for whom he scored 169 goals and 454 points. Thorton's San Jose run is 83 goals, 358 points and counting."

Wait. What's his name? Thorton? FUCK! Seriously?! We're not talking about some Russian guy who no one has ever heard of - he was the goddamned MVP of the league!

That's OK, it was only written by Bob Condor, NHL.com's Editor-in-Chief.

It's the NHL! Watch our product, buy our shit, but don't expect us to spell our best player's names correctly.

Now I actually want to do work. Great. Thanks NHL.com.