Wednesday, January 7, 2009

It's a Trap!

Holy Admiral Akbar, Batman!

Come on, you missed us. Admit it.

One fan did. He bitched and moaned and thought alot about Jamie Lynn. Well...we're back. The two week haitus was caused by a combination of snow, vacation, family time, moronic new england drivers (see below - caveman's ok, don't fret) and just the right amount of booze. Since the first three days back from break had us buried in paperwork and the Bruins were busy playing some of the most boring hockey i've seen all year, we held back. That is, UNTIL NOW!!!

First of all - Fuck you Jacques Lemaire. Your boring, mind numbing, slow, draining, annoying (read: effective as fuck) and overall shitty trap happy hockey team is officially the 1993-2003 Devil's version 2.0. The season ticket holders in Minnesota must love coming to watch this 1-0 bullshit. I mean, its not like the league ever lost its entire (almost) fan base, all tv contracts and had a crippling lockout in large part due to the over defensive beast that NHL hockey had become, right? Let's bring it back. Nick Backstrom? I give him total credit. I had the privilege of seeing him shut down Colorado at the Pepsi Center during the playoffs last year, and i can attest (along with the Bruins shooters) that he's for real. Solid performance. But wait a second, why are these guys only 20-16-3? Right, got it. The rest of their team sucks with one or two exceptions (see: Zydlicky and Gaborik, the later of which is out for the year). They looked overall below average in that game once they crossed the red line, but their defense is stellar (because they aren't sure how to leave their own end, so you gotta be good at something, right?) and they have Backstrom.
Frankly, I'm not suprised they're 10-1 against the east, because we just don't know how to deal with that crap anymore and NJ is not what it was. Fortunately for the rest of the hockey loving world, the trap is now largely confined to whatever location the Wild are playing in on a given night. It's just too bad i'm a sucker for the Neal Broten-led North Stars.

Reality seems to be setting in for a few nights, if you ask me (or if you don't). The B's are clearly feeling the injury bug. Matt Lashoff? Shouldn't be allowed to touch the ice. PJ Axlesson? Shouldn't be on the ice for FUCKING POWER PLAYS!!! Chuck Kobasew? Quickly becoming the leading liability on the team in our own end. Trust me, he's working reaaaaalllll fucking hard at this.
BUT. All is well. The, dare i say, lowly Sens are en-route and people i know will be at the game tomorrow. I'm one of those folks who believes firmly that if myself, or someone i know personally, attends a game, we have a 50% better chance of winning. Trust me. I went to 11 B's home games last year and one on the road. Their record in those games? 10-2 with 3 SO victories. Shit, my midichlorian count is off the charts from the look of it.

We're (I'm) going to forget that the Bruins played a dumpy game on Saturday against the Slugs and just move on...fuck the slugs.

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