Cage goes in the water, you go in the water. Shark's in the water. Our shark.

"I'll catch this bird for you, but it ain't gonna be easy. Bad fish. Not like going down the pond chasin' bluegills and tommycods. This shark, swallow you whole. Little shakin', little tenderizin', an' down you go. And we gotta do it quick, that'll bring back your tourists, put all your businesses on a payin' basis. But it's not gonna be pleasant."

-Quint, Jaws

So here we go, folks. We've got the Sharks in town this week and it is going to the biggest test that the Bruins have faced all year. The Red Wings game was a great measuring stick early on, and this game will be a 'show me' game as the Bruins move down the stretch.

Well we don't see these West coast teams a whole hell of a lot in Boston. I mean, who are these Sharks? Why are they so fucking good? Lets see if we can't break this team down a little.

1.) Who scores the goals?

Name	G	A	P	+/-
Joe Thornton	12	45	57	21
Patrick Marleau	26	27	53	20
Devin Setoguchi	22	24	46	14
Bryan Clowe	20	23	43	9

You may have heard of that guy at the top. He's like Marc Savard, if Marc Savard ditched the faux-hawk, got taller, stronger, and stamped a 'chokes in the play-offs' sign on his back.

Don't give them any power plays - then he sets up behind the net and feeds the point, the slot, and anyone else who gets a little open.

When not on the PP, Joe usually centers Jonathan Cheechoo and Milan Michalek, while the second line is the rest of the guys on that list above. Thorton is a point machine, but don't sleep on the second line.

2.) Who stops the pucks?

Name	Record	GAA	Save %
Evgeni Nabokov Brian Boucher	27-6-6-4 9-1-1-2	2.42 1.88	0.91 .927

Nabokov has been around the block a few times (what a whore! oh!) and he's as solid a puck-stoppah as there is. Did I mention he's on pace for a career high record?

Nabokov is the workhorse of this tandem, but don't be fooled into thinking that they have a jobber backing him up. Boucher's stats speak for themselves and he's perfectly capable of jumping in and giving Evgeni a break.

3.) Defense?

Name	G	A	P	+/-
Dan Boyle	13	26	39	10
Rob Blake	7	24	31	15
Marc-Eduard Vlasic	4	21	25	18
Christian Ehrhoff	6	18	24	-8

Dan Boyle is clearly the big shot on the Sharks blue line, and also one of the quarterbacks on the power play unit. Taking away his options will be critical to keeping the puck to the perimeter and away from Joe Thornton. As we know all too well, if you let Joe go to the goal from behind the net or off the half wall there isn't much anyone can do to stop him - disrupting the pass to him in the first place will be key.

4.) Wiley Veterans?

Holy shit - these guys are the ones who signed Claude Lemieux?! Is there a hockey player alive who doesn't hate him? The body of evidence against him is pretty extrodinary.

NOTE: Please mute your speakers/audio before watching this clip. The music that this guy set the clip to wreaks of 'I hate my Dad'. Fitting I suppose, because Claude most likely had some Daddy issues himself - though I doubt that's what Jef12321 was trying to get across when he made the video.

I think I scored 40 goals with Lemieux in NHL 98 on the original PlayStation. Not sure why I chose the Avalanche for that season - maybe because Joe Sakic was practically Jesus on skates. Anyway ...

Speaking of Jesus on skates - they have Roenick too?! Awesome. Though he never plays and when he does he's only a shell of his former NHL 94 glory ... but he's a local guy, and one hell of a model American.

Should be one hell of a game. I'll run a post with some more specific stats tomorrow - right now I'm going to watch Point Break.